A couple years ago, I went to an Ellevate event where all the name tags had conversation starters. Mine said The title of my book is:

When I approached a small group of people, someone asked “What’s the title of your book?” I answered Small Town Girl in the Big City.

This started a long conversation about my childhood growing up on a farm in rural West Virginia and how I came to live in Brooklyn. 

I’m sure we eventually talked about our professional lives but it wasn’t what sparked the connection. And it wasn’t the reason we kept in touch.

How many times have you answered the question “What do you do?”

How many times did it kick off a really great conversation where you felt totally at ease?

I read a Forbes article recently where the author asked when’s the last time you delivered a 30 second elevator pitch and got offered a job? Probably never.

What do you do is my least favorite question because it asks multi-dimensional people to define themselves in one dimension.

It puts you on the defensive trying to sum up 10, 20 or 30 years of professional expertise in a 30 second pitch.

On the flip side, it makes the other person feel like they’re being sold to when they just came for the wine and cheese.

Before you kick off another conversation with What do you do consider this:

I recently surveyed 71 introverted professionals about how they're thinking about, feeling about and experiencing networking 1 year into the pandemic.

30% of respondents have a conversation problem. They struggle with what to say, how to introduce themselves, and how to keep conversations going once they've started.

46% have a mindset problem. They're in their heads, worried about being interesting and anxious about coming across as contrived and transactional.

These are fixable problems.

There are much better ways to start conversations and build genuine relationships.

Join me on Wednesday April 7th for a workshop on Networking for Introverts.

I will share tips and strategies to build your confidence, sharpen your skills, and make better connections. Details are here.

And if you can’t make the workshop, check out my interview on the Spitfire podcast? We talk trends from the survey and tips to move past the awkward and start networking with ease.

Hi, I’m Madeline.

I help quiet leaders speak up in a world of loud talkers and I help organizations articulate their vision in clear, concise messaging.

I've been called a lifesaver and a secret weapon and my superpower is listening. I can take all the ideas in your head and put them together in a way that makes sense and tastes good to other people.

Get in touch at madeline@madelineschwarz.com

TWO PEOPLE replied to my Networking for Introverts survey that they'd rather get a root canal than go to a networking event. 

I went to the dictionary to see what Miriam Webster has to say about networking and they define it as:

the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions

specifically: the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business

Sounds pretty stale and transactional.

Doesn't exactly make you run toward the next zoom happy hour.

But we can redefine networking.

I see networking as an opportunity to connect with interesting people and make new friends.

The number one reason people avoid networking, public speaking, or difficult conversations is they think it’s going to be painful. So painful they’d rather get a root canal without novocaine (a respondent’s actual words).

My mission is to make communication more fun.

Fun is the missing ingredient. When it’s fun, you can inspire other people, share your story, lead your team and make change in the world.

What kind of change?

Yesterday a client shared she aced 7 rounds of interviews and accepted a new job offer. She got a title promotion and shattered her own glass ceiling.

Another client gave her best presentation ever and said she felt more confident than ever in her ability to do her job.

I give people tools to not only speak differently, but think differently and it changes everything.

Don’t wait until you need a new job or want to sell something to start networking.

Start now.

I can help you get clear on your message, connect with any audience and change your mindset so you never think about communication the same way. Let’s talk. 

Hi, I’m Madeline.

I help quiet leaders and organizations communicate their story and invite audiences into their world.

I use my signature process to make communication fun and transform how you communicate at work, at home, in life.

Get in touch at madeline@madelineschwarz.com

A version of this article appeared in Forbes.

If you’re an introvert, standing up in front of a crowd of people (or even a couple colleagues) can be especially challenging.

That’s why Ellevate Network’s Girl Boss Bootcamp: The Introvert’s Guide to Public Speaking drew such a big crowd.

As an introvert myself, I am hugely passionate about this topic. I wanted to share tips and strategies for all the introverts out there who are trying to balance their quiet nature with their desire to express themselves. 

Use these strategies to build your confidence and grow your professional presence.

#1 Planning is your friend. 

Introverts generally do better when they’re prepared. Spending a few minutes upfront preparing will make a huge difference when you’re speaking in front of other people. 

Start by getting really clear on what you want your audience to walk away with. 

It’s important to think about your topic from the audience’s perspective. I like to use this template to set objectives with my clients:

At the end of my presentation, I want the audience to remember______________ and/or take action step ___________________.

#2 Map Out Your Speaking Points
Take a moment to jot down your 2 or 3 most important points. If you have more than 3, narrow them down. Sharing too much information will overwhelm your audience.

Even if you prefer to improvise, a few minutes of planning can go a long way. It will help you stay on message and play in the moment.

#3 Use Your Strengths

If you’re quiet by nature, don’t feel like you need to be a big, charismatic performer. Instead, lean into your strengths. 

If listening is your biggest strength, know that it’s a really powerful skill to tap into your audience.  If you’re not sure what your strengths are, reach out to me. I can help!

#4 Tell Stories

You may not like talking about yourself or bragging about your accomplishments, but I bet you can tell a story.

Stories are relatable and give you a way to connect with your audience, even if you’re shy. That’s why I help my clients build their story bank.

#5 Focus on Mindset

If you’re worried about worst-case scenarios, you’re going to look and feel more nervous. 

Instead, focus on your objective and what you want to accomplish. It’s much easier to connect with the people in front of you when you get out of your own head and think about the gift you can give by sharing your ideas.

Practice reframing your thoughts. For example, if standing in front of people with all eyes on you triggers the thought “They’re judging me,” you might instead tell yourself “They’re paying attention to me.” Similarly, when the thought comes up “This is terrifying” you might swap in “This is an experiment.”

Remember that nervousness is a natural human emotion so it can be helpful to observe the physical sensations that come up (such as shaking hands and pounding heart) and visualize other areas in your life where you feel more confident.

#6 Practice

Practice out loud. More than once.

Don’t read your notes to yourself. Read them out loud, do a run-through in front of other people, for your dog, in front of your kids, or on the subway. Get more practice ideas here.

But practice. 

And if you’re looking for the magic formula to create a presentation that engages your audience and establishes you as the expert, let’s talk. I’ll walk you through how to write and practice your presentation, 1 step at a time, so you can stop rambling and start speaking like the expert.