I grew up skating, first on a pond, then on a small ice rink in Charleston, WV.
It was a regular part of my childhood, one of the favorite activities at Camp Dad, but somewhere in between age 7 and adulthood in NYC, my skills got pretty rusty.
This was only the second time I’d been on the ice since a bad ankle sprain a few years ago.
I laced up my skates, put on my gloves and was excited to rediscover my love of ice skating (and the only winter sport I enjoy).
Then I stepped onto the ice.
My footing was shaky and I almost immediately lost my balance.
I clung to the wall.
I could barely stand, yet alone glide.
I was nervous.
I was stiff.
I did a few laps around the rink wondering when this got so hard.
Then I watched my son.
His strategy was to RUN forward on the ice as fast as he could until he wiped out.
He’d topple over, dust off his snow pants, stand up and do it again.
No hesitation, no worries about falling, no attention to what other people were doing.
I compared that to my own strategy and realized I wasdevoting 100% of my energy to NOT falling.
I was working very hard at staying upright. As a result, I completely lost sight of what I wanted to happen. My goal was to glide forward on the ice, not to stand straight like a toothpick.
I thought back to lessons with my dad and realized what I was missing.
I bent my knees. I leaned in.
It made me think of public speaking and what happens when you’re nervous.
You cling to the walls
You show up stiff
You focus all your attention on NOT failing
The next time fear takes over and you find yourself bracing for the worst, lean in.
Breathe. Relax your body.
It makes things easier, whether you’re balancing on ice, standing on stage or speaking on zoom.
